Using your phone during free time is just as exhausting as working hours.

Many people feel overwhelmed by using their phones when they should be relaxing.

Many people feel overwhelmed by using their phones when they should be relaxing.

People tend to blame their work stress and pressure. Many take out their phones in elevators, in checkout lines at stores, even during the 90 seconds it takes for the microwave to work. Some even use their smartphones while eating and drinking. 

And the moment they finish a task, before they even have a moment to rest, they're already looking for the next thing to look at. There's always something to fill the void when they should be relaxing and enjoying endless entertainment, constant companionship, and a whole world of leisure activities. As a result, many feel incredibly exhausted, going to bed and waking up feeling tired.

The Innocence of Work Stress

According to a report published on the website Bold, one might be tempted to blame work stress, but some of the most exhausted people aren't actually working harder than others did decades ago. There's something else at play that's truly exhausting, and it's more about what you stop doing than what you do.

Walking to the bus stop, where all you see is nature or houses, waiting at the doctor's office, perhaps browsing a magazine or watching passersby, washing dishes, driving home, or even just a few minutes in bed before sleep, doing nothing but letting the day wind down—these were all periods of rest, ordinary moments of quiet between important tasks, and without most people noticing, they all became filled.

If you review all these activities throughout the day, you'll find that you did something you didn't intend to do. You transformed almost every spare moment into a moment of receiving something. So, the day seems full, but much of what fills it isn't work; it's input. And input, even enjoyable input, isn't the same as rest.

Free Time

Underlying all this talk of being busy is a misconception: that an unoccupied mind is a wasted mind. Free time may seem like the brain is at rest, so it's assigned a task, but the brain isn't idle. 

When a person stops receiving input, it doesn't stop working; it simply shifts to another task. Twenty years of brain imaging research describes a virtual state: a network that cools down the moment a person focuses on a task and activates the moment they stop—for example, when gazing out the window, washing dishes, or letting their mind wander. The brain is at its most active precisely when nothing external demands attention. It never truly rests.

Internal Processing

This is the system that organizes the day's events, revisits unsatisfying conversations, and connects what a person read in the morning to a problem that occupied them all week. It's also where the brain continues to construct a sense of identity and purpose in life. 

This system shuts down as soon as we give the brain something to look at—for example, a podcast, a news feed, or a TV program. Each of these is an external task, and each one disrupts the internal processing. So, every time it fills a void, it doesn't add any relief to a busy day; it abandons the only type of processing the day was relying on.

Avoid being alone with yourself.

In a series of famous studies, researchers left people alone in an empty room for just six minutes with nothing to do but think. Most found it unpleasant and wished it would end. 

The common narrative—that people prefer the shock to thinking—exaggerates. Many were perfectly content, but the underlying conclusion remains: inactivity is harder to bear than expected, and people will grasp at almost anything to escape it.

In one experiment, the room also contained a button that delivered a mild electric shock, something the same people had previously said they would pay to avoid. Yet, a significant percentage, especially men, pressed it anyway, seemingly preferring a mild sting to a few minutes of solitude with their thoughts.

Constant Partial Attention

There is a state some call “constant partial attention,” where a person isn’t fully focused on a task, nor are they completely distracted. They always keep a half-closed eye on what’s to come. It feels like they’re constantly connected.

It’s like a program running in the background that never shuts down, consuming a tiny bit of energy every second of the day. Low and continuous use is a source of fatigue. One needs some breaks without trying to completely eliminate these apps. One can choose a walking route, making sure not to use headphones, or spend waiting times anywhere without using a smartphone or browsing the internet.

One meal without a phone

The brain doesn't need hours of forced silence. It can organize thoughts in short bursts, the same amount of time one spends in front of screens. There are two things worth knowing before trying this. 

First, there will be a feeling of discomfort, perhaps for longer than it seems reasonable. It's the same anxiety that drove some to turn to social media, and this feeling will gradually subside as the emptiness ceases to be a problem requiring a solution.

Second, this won't solve everything. If a person is exhausted from overwork, sadness, or simply reaching their energy limits, walking without podcasts isn't the answer. The more serious underlying causes deserve serious attention.

Gradual Fatigue Fades

As for the mild, everyday fatigue many are experiencing now, for which sleep doesn't seem to help, the solution is often quite simple: leave the following gaps as they are. 

No podcasts while walking, no phone on the table, and no internet browsing while waiting in line. It won't feel right at first; it will feel like something is missing. But after a week of these small moments of solitude, you'll notice the fatigue starting to subside, even if only slightly.